And here is a Redneck SUV
And here is a Redneck SUV
How does a blonde haired blue eyed Alabaman spell the word farm?
E I E I O
A Tennessee couple — Dave and Rebecca Kosmitis both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children.
They went to the doctor to see about getting Dave “fixed.” The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision. Why, after 9 children, would they choose to do this?
Dave replied that they had read in a recent article that 1 out of every 10 children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn’t want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby, because neither of them could speak Spanish.
Here are two examples of some people who really love being “cool” in their cars.
Ahh Walmart, you never know what you will find or see in there. Redneck dreams come reality in Walmart.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren”t.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
Your mother does not remove the Marlboro from her mouth before telling the state trooper to kiss her ass.
You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.
You”ve ever spray painted your girlfriend”s name on an overpass.
Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
You think a Volvo is part of a woman”s anatomy.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.”
You refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as “the day my ship came in.”
You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
1. The monitor is up on blocks.
2. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
3. Deer jerky in the desk drawer.
4. The extra RAM slots in your computer have Dodge truck parts installed in them.
5. John Deer pocket protectors left on the desk.
6. Your password has been changed to “Bubba”
7. There is a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
8. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
9. The keyboard is camouflaged.
10. You hear him refer to the mouse as a “critter”
If you relate to JUST ONE of these items then you DEFINITELY a redneck. 2 means you have little hope of change, and 3 or more proves you are one FOR LIFE.
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