Snake dies of silicone (implant) poisoning

Israeli model Orit Fox, a chick with gigantuon fake knockers, was performing a publicity stunt for a radio station. The publicity stunt was for Orit Fox to kiss a snake, not too dangerous right? eh. Well, the snake got really turned on and bit Orit Fox’s left fun bag and you can here one of the radio show reps panick with, “not the titty!”

That’s epic. Anyhoo, then the snake died of silicon poisoning. I am sure that Peta will be protesting outside of every world brest enhancement joint within the next 72 hours. Before the snake kicked the can, he stated, “…it was worth it.”

Watch it on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYRB3HMPttI

Mr. Right Rejection Form Letter

Dear (____rejectee’s name here____ ),

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as my Mr. Right.

As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:

[Check all those that apply]

___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.

___ Your last name is objectionable. I can’t imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald’s reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.

___ Your inadvertent admission that you “buy condoms by the truckload” indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.

___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can’t GET into my pants.

___ Your “Putting on a few, aren’t you babe?” comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of Your Own beer gut, was inappropriate.

___ You failed the credit check.

___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___ The phrase “My Mother” has popped up far too often in conversation.

___ You still live with your parents, and attending night classes to get your High School diploma, are slight negatives.

___ You mention your ex-wife’s name more than you mention mine.