May 26, 2020

Learning to Cuss

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A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.
The 6 year old asks, “You know what? I think it’s about time we started learning to cuss”. The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, “When we go in for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass”.
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies,
“Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I’ll have some Cheerios”.
WHACK!
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, “You can stay there until I let you out!”
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, “And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?”
“I don’t know”, he blubbers, “but you can bet your ass it won’t be Cheerios”..

Funny Bib

funny bib

When I have a kid I am so buying him this Bib. ” Who’s boob do I have to suck to get a drink around here?”

You are next

your next

Old people at weddings always poke me and say “you’re next.”

So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Dad With Mom

dady and mommy

I saw dad with mom last night, I think he was stealing my milk!

Parent Signature

parent sig

Need a parent signature? Good thing I learned cursive. Seems Legit!