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Running up and hitting a sign, what did he think would really happen?
Lets see how far I can lean back in this here chair…
This is why fat people don’t ride skateboards
Fat kid tries to bail off his bike.
Fat Kid Failed Bike Bail – Watch more Funny Videos
Just because they don’t have thumbs don’t mean they can’t open doors.
Well, you’ve always heard cats will land on their feet, but what if they don’t want to use them?
Yo mamma’s so fat, she tripped over a rock and fell asleep trying to get up!
Yo mama so ugly when she joined the ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals.
Yo mama’s teeth are so crooked, when she smiles her mouth looks like its throwin’ up gang signs.
Yo mama so ugly she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.
Yo mama’s teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.
Yo mama’s so skinny, her pants have one belt loop.
Yo mamma’s so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said, “to be continued.”
Yo mama’s so skinny, you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio.
Yo mama’s so skinny, if she had dreads I’d grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor.
Yo mama’s so skinny, instead of calling her your parent, you call her transparent.
Yo mama’s so skinny, her bra fits better backward.
Yo mama’s so skinny, she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.
Yo mama’s so skinny, she uses Chap stick for deodorant.
Yo mama’s so skinny, she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck norris is currently suing NCB, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Friday by Rebecca Black. This has been out now on the Internet for a few weeks, possibly the worst song I have ever heard. The sad thing is its so bad its funny. Enjoy, and remember “Its friday, friday gotta get down on friday”
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, “Martha, I’d like to ride in that airplane.” And every year Martha would say, “I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”
This one year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, “Martha, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance.”
Martha replied, “Stumpy, that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”
The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.”
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
They land and the pilot turns to Stumpy, “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”
Stumpy replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”
SuperShine Toothpaste: “Making the best toothpaste for you is our pleasure!”
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
The Washington DC State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into DC. For the first offense, they give you 2 Redskin Tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.
Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Washington Redskins
Q. What do the Washington Redskins and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus Christ”.
Q. How do you keep a Washington Redskins out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.
Q. What do you call a Washington Redskins with a Super Bowl ring?
A. Old
Q. What’s the difference between the Washington Redskins
and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q. How many Washington Redskins does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody remembers.
Q. What do the Washington Redskins and a possum have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
