Jerry Springer

10 ways to know you are a redneck

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  1. The Jack-O-Lantern on your porch has more teeth than your wife does.
  2. You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.
  3. There is a law in your state that if a husband and wife get a divorce then they are still legally brother and sister.
  4. The people on Jerry Springer remind you of your neighbors.
  5. You grandpappie made a will to leave everything to his wife but she can’t touch it until she is 14.
  6. You go to the junkyard to drop off some things and come back with more than you left with.
  7. You have your local taxidermist on speed-dial.
  8. You think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
  9. The people at your parties are always dressed in white robes & hoods and seem very secretive.
  10. On your KFC employment application, under military service you include the militia group you belong to.

If you relate to JUST ONE of these items then you DEFINITELY a redneck. 2 means you have little hope of change, and 3 or more proves you are one FOR LIFE.

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