- The Jack-O-Lantern on your porch has more teeth than your wife does.
- You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.
- There is a law in your state that if a husband and wife get a divorce then they are still legally brother and sister.
- The people on Jerry Springer remind you of your neighbors.
- You grandpappie made a will to leave everything to his wife but she can’t touch it until she is 14.
- You go to the junkyard to drop off some things and come back with more than you left with.
- You have your local taxidermist on speed-dial.
- You think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
- The people at your parties are always dressed in white robes & hoods and seem very secretive.
- On your KFC employment application, under military service you include the militia group you belong to.
If you relate to JUST ONE of these items then you DEFINITELY a redneck. 2 means you have little hope of change, and 3 or more proves you are one FOR LIFE.
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