August 9, 2020

You Might Be a Redneck Part 1

Redneck

You ever cut your grass and found a car.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren”t.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
Your mother does not remove the Marlboro from her mouth before telling the state trooper to kiss her ass.
You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.
You”ve ever spray painted your girlfriend”s name on an overpass.
Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.
You think a Volvo is part of a woman”s anatomy.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.”
You refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as “the day my ship came in.”
You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.

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